Thoughts About Disney

I had no idea that Disney liked to have their characters transform into different things so much.

I mean, Pinocchio turned from a toy, to a boy/toy, to a donkey/boy/toy to a real boy. Wart from The Sword in the Stone is three different animals in his lessons. And Kuzco of Emperor’s New Groove; he was a one-man zoo.

What’s the deal, Disney? It’s apparent they like their characters changing, but why did Aladdin get to turn into a prince by the genie, but Mulan only get a dragon companion? She wanted to be a man, not a woman dressed as a man with a dragon buddy.

Tags: Disney Real world issues

Thoughts About Disney

In 1993, Disney released a movie called Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey, a story about two dogs and a cat travelling through America’s wilderness to be reunited with their human family.  The movie was scored with an Aaron Copland-esque soundtrack, Michael J. Fox was the voice of the main dog, when the three animals communicated telepathically, but the dogs’ lips did not move unless the dog was barking.  The movie was the bomb back in 1993.

In 2008, 15 years after Homeward Bound, Disney released a movie calledBeverly Hills Chihuahua, a story about one dog travelling through the Mexican cityscape to be reunited with her human owner. The movie features songs that sound like Lou Bega’s “Mambo No. 5″, Drew Barrymore is the voice of the main dog, and the dogs’ lips moved in sync with Drew’s voice, as humans do. The movie is not the bomb ever.

Really, Disney? First of all, animals dressed as humans are creepy enough.  But to have their lips move, too?  That is over the line.

If I was a parent and Disney was my child, I’d be one disappointed parent.  At first, as a child, Disney showed potential with Homeward Bound and The Mighty Ducks.

Then as Disney grew up and became a teenager, he started to experiment with heroin and huffed spray paint and ended up with Air Bud: Golden Receiver, Air Bud: World Pup, Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch and Air Bud: Spikes Back.

He now realizes that his life is in shambles, he tries to start over, trying to relive the good old days of Homeward Bound, so my naive child takes that story, adjusts a few things and comes out with Beverly Hills Chihuahua, but fails miserably, because Beverly Hills Chihuahua will never hold a candle to Homeward Bound.

So in defeat, Disney, my poor, poor Disney, relapses and goes back to his old habits. Old habits like Air Bud: Speak! Disney hasn’t made the movie (yet), but I’m sure the tagline will go something like “Air Bud leaves the sports arena to enter the political arena to be the Speaker of the House.  Get ready to debate! Woof!”

Tags: Animals dressed as humans Disney Huffing I miss being nostalgic Talking animals excludes parrots