Thoughts About October
It’s October which means a lot of people will take advantage of the 31 days they have to come up with as many names for their festivals and specials going on this month. So let’s just get it out of the way so you won’t be surprised when someone invites you to Croc-toberfest (a Louisianian celebration of wearing Croc shoes).
- Bock-tober: Celebration of beer
- Bach-tober: Celebration of composer Johann Sebastian Bach
- Cock-tober: Celebration of roosters and whatnots
- Dock-tober: Celebration of docks, piers and boats
- Fuck-tober: Kind of a stretch with the word play, but it’s a month-long orgy
- Glock-tober: Second Amendment Awareness Month
- Jock-tober: Homecoming week when jocks all around campus are reminded that they’re better than everyone else
- Knockknock-tober: Shitty joke month
- Lock-tober: Celebration of keys if you’re a locksmith, hair if you’re a serial killer
- Mock-tober: Celebration of intelligent people mocking October and the wordplay that stems from the month (excluding this one)
- Mach-tober: Celebration of really fast jets
- Octobeard: Celebration of facial hair where men don’t shave for the month of October
- Rock-tober: Celebration of rock music, also probably a geologist Facebook event somewhere
- Sock-tober: Socks!
- Smock-tober: Smocks!
- Tik-Tok-Tober: Month of self-reflection on why we allowed Kesha to get to where she is with such a shitty song
- Wok-tober: Month where Asians use woks to cook like every other month in the year
Is it out of our system, now? Can we move past word plays on the month of October?
Let’s be more creative with the way we name our festivals so it’s not so dependent on months of the year. After all, when humans colonize Mars, they probably won’t have a month called October, which means we’ll have to think of something more clever than Clocktoberfest when we want to celebrate our clocks.
