In front of a casino, there is a fountain. In this fountain, are coins. Presumably, coins tossed in by people wishing for good luck.
Let’s take a second and analyze what’s happening here.
SITUATION A
The casino has penny slots. I’m not sure if they accept coins, but I thinking yes, they do because:
It’s not Dave & Busters. You don’t have to exchange real money for fake money, and
They have a special phone where you can call your credit card company to get money, so why would they deny pennies.
So assuming that the penny slots accept pennies, if you put money into the machine, there is a chance you will win. If you put money in a fountain, there is no chance you will win. And you just wasted an opportunity.
And what’s the casino going to do with all that coin in the fountain? Leave it there? No. They are not leaving money in a fountain. They have special phones where you can call your credit card company to get a cash advance. They love money, no matter how they get it.
SITUATION B
You throw your penny into the fountain, cross your fingers and wish that you hit jackpot. Someone goes into the aforementioned fountain, takes your lucky penny and uses it, therefore, canceling your wish.
Now you are down a penny, an opportunity, and whatever luck you might have gained by throwing said penny into fountain.
Remember how hard it was to color the American flag in school? 50 stars is a lot of stars.
And you sat there in social studies class wishing you went to school in Indonesia instead, because their flag is so easy! It’s only two colors, and if your paper’s white, then you’re halfway done.
Or maybe Poland. Drawing Poland’s flag would’ve been just as easy.
Going to school in Monaco would’ve been just as nice as Indonesia. Maybe nicer!
But the dream place to go to school, if only so your flag-drawing assignment wasn’t so hard? Libya, of course!
But as you finish coloring the easy portion of the American flag and move on to the blue-square, white-star portion, you have to start thanking your 50, white, lucky stars that you don’t live in South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands.
Or Bhutan, who might or might not have been inspired by Dragon Ball Z.
I can’t imagine any kid getting an A on that assignment in school. Alternatively, I can believe every kid who goes to school on the South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands are really good artists.
To our international readers, your flag is perfect the way it is. Especially you, people of Saint Pierre and Miquelon!
South Georgia and South Sandwich islands is the name of an island off the southern tip of South America.
Now imagine, if you’re running the show at South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands, what would you put on your flag. A BLT? Too obvious, right? How about half of their whole fucking zoo?
According to the CIA World Factbook, South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands’ flag is:
blue, with the flag of the UK in the upper hoist-side quadrant and the South Georgia and South Sandwich Islands coat of arms centered on the outer half of the flag; the coat of arms features a shield with a golden lion rampant, holding a torch; the shield is supported by a fur seal on the left and a Macaroni penguin on the right; a reindeer appears above the crest, and below the shield on a scroll is the motto LEO TERRAM PROPRIAM PROTEGAT (Let the Lion Protect its Own Land)); the lion with the torch represents the UK and discovery; the background of the shield, blue and white estoiles, are found in the coat of arms of James Cook, discoverer of the islands; all the outer supporting animals represented are native to the islands.
So in the conference room, the designers said, “Fuck it, nobody knows where we are, we’re going to go for the record and cram a bunch of animals into our flag.” Or as people at the deli would call it, “the works.” So they did.
I accidentally watched this stupid show on VH1 a while back called The Pick-Up Artist. It was a reality tv show that feature a number of socially awkward guys who never get the girl. The host was Mystery, a successful pick-up artist who, on first glimpse, you’d think would be an absolute lie.
That’s not the point. I think the show had a challenge and whichever guy failed to pick up a woman would get eliminated.
That doesn’t make sense. Why would the guy who needs to most help be the one to be eliminated? Shouldn’t the guy who’s already passing the class be exempt from the final?
The show’s point, obviously, isn’t to better these guys. Because if it was, no one would be eliminated and they’d all make it to the end and find whatever it was they were looking for.
I bought something that was pink because I thought it’d help support breast cancer research. Turns out, it was just pink and I was just supporting guys being ok with flossing with pink floss.
In my review of Out of Captivity, David pointed out to me that I misspelled the country of Colombia. Turns out, there’s a difference between a Colombia and a Columbia. One is sometimes known for its corrupt government. The other is sometimes known to be the corrupt government.
Finally, in the map of Disney Princesses, Alice is from England, not Wonderland. And Wendy is more of the princess than Tinkerbell is, as one could tell because a princess never dresses up like a strumpet.
You have four options: 1. You can mute the video and just read because the music sucks. 2. You can leave the music on and check your mail because the writing’s stupid. 3. You can press the pause button because everything is terrible. 4. You can read, watch and listen to the video because you forgot what you were doing prior.
We were taught in school that in the American Flag, the 13 stripes represent the 13 original colonies and the 50 stars represent the 50 states of the union.
But what about the very first flag?
13 stars, 13 strips. 13 for the 13 original colonies and 13 for…the states of the union? A little redundant, Mrs. Ross. You’re lucky we followed through with our Manifest Destiny.
Remember how everybody thought Y2K was going to ruin everything and the world would end? Or remember how right after Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Rita came and Houston evacuated for no real reason? Or remember all that talk about 2012 and how the world would (again) but nothing’s probably going to happen maybe?
That’s what the NBA 2010 Free Agent class is going to be. Lebron’s going to go back to Cleveland, the Raptors are going to continue to not do well and the Jazz are going to continue to never win a championship.
The thing I like least about World Cup soccer is all the flopping about they do. Seeing these people fall so easily explains why international basketball players who play in the NBA are notorious for flopping. They learned it from their countrymen on the soccer field.
What I like about the World Cup, besides the excitement of rooting for your team and winning, is the sportsmanship. Sure the flopping is unsportsmanlike, but when someone legitimately falls down, you’ll see teams helping other teams to their feet. You rarely see it American football and basketball.
Another form of good sportsmanship is the tradition of swapping jerseys after match. It dates back to a 1931 match between France and England.
So they swap jerseys in the World Cup. But what about Women’s World Cup? I will let you know on June 26, 2011: FIFA Women’s World Cup Germany 2011. It will be on my DVR.
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