October 2011
2 posts
Thoughts About Going Green
A lot of people talk big game when it comes to cutting down on vehicular carbon emissions, but you know all that’s going out the window when flying cars become commercially available. Most of those same people would cut down a redwood tree if it meant they could own a flying car powered by the finest gasoline.
So before you start going off on “global warming” or what have you, ask yourself,...
Thoughts About October
It’s October which means a lot of people will take advantage of the 31 days they have to come up with as many names for their festivals and specials going on this month. So let’s just get it out of the way so you won’t be surprised when someone invites you to Croc-toberfest (a Louisianian celebration of wearing Croc shoes).
Bock-tober: Celebration of beer
Bach-tober:...
March 2011
1 post
2 tags
Thoughts About Monopoly
According to Wikipedia, the purpose of the board game Monopoly was
to teach people how monopolies end up bankrupting the many and giving extraordinary wealth to one or few individuals.
It’s really weird how this thought never crossed my mind when I was a kid. The only thought I had was to beat everybody mercilessly by any means necessary. Which usually meant hiding money under the board...
February 2011
0 posts
1 tag
Thoughts About Archeologists
I’m really concerned that after our society dies off, future archeologists and anthropologists will find Hollywood Boulevard and assume that the people who left their hand and footprints in the sidewalk were important to our society.
January 2011
2 posts
4 tags
Thoughts About Santa Claus
Santa Claus: The patron saint of Coca-Cola.
I think the point of Santa Claus is that once you grew up and realized that he wasn’t real, you would begin to slowly realize how awesome your parents really were.
They didn’t take the credit for you getting a hamster, it was deferred to this imaginary man. But your parents didn’t care, they just wanted to see you happy.
Sidenote:...
December 2010
1 post
Thoughts About Those Bracelets People Wear to...
This isn’t about people wearing the Livestrong bracelets because they support their hipness more than they support testicular cancer research.
This is about a bracelet I saw made with the same material that said, “I support recycling” or something stupid like that.
Apparently, whoever buys this bracelet supports recycling but does not care much about reducing. The material to...
November 2010
3 posts
1 tag
Special Thanks
2009, 2007, odd-numbered years, Ocho & Malcolm (I miss you, dogs!), Moleskin knockoffs, grape-flavored picadilly, watching streams of sports games on the internet till they take it down, Lone Star bottle caps, my new roulette system, losing roulette earlier than expected which resulted in me finishing that boring book about P.T. Barnum ahead of schedule, keeping a bottle opener in the car that...
Thoughts About Voting
I hate discussing politics because it’s like discussing zombie survival. There’s no possible way you’re ever going to get all the bullet points of any issue or politician and it comes down to whoever sounds more persuasive, not whoever is more qualified.
So yes, it is important to vote, but if your basing your vote off of what celebrities are endorsing or what pamphlets are on...
2 tags
Thoughts About Zombies part 2
I guess the the thing that bothers me about zombie movies is that nobody ever seems to know what a zombie is when the zombocalypse descends, yet in the real world, everyone in this country knows what a zombie is and how to survive it.
So just once, I’d like to see a movie where a zombie apocalypse goes down and a guy goes, “Everybody back up. I got this…I have this Zombie...
October 2010
7 posts
2 tags
Thoughts About Zombies
I like zombie movies. I’m not preparing for a zombiepocalypse, but I do know that you have to shoot their head off, etc.
However, zombies are not real and my knowledge of knowing to sever their head is meaningless. That’s why The Zombie Survival Guide is still on a Barnes and Noble bookshelf and not on mine. Because zombies are not real.
Preparing for such a zombiepocalypse is like...
2 tags
Thoughts About People Standing in the Street
This is at an intersection not far from my neighborhood.
Here’s what’s going on in the picture:
A pan handler stands at the red dot, holding a sign asking for a little help.
Hispanic laborers sit at the blue dot waiting for someone to come in a truck to ask them to do some labor.
And at the green dot, a sign spinner holds a sign for gold in exchange for cash.
At this one corner,...
1 tag
Thoughts About Love
Hey, you know what I’m tired of? Love.
Not out-in-the-street love but in-entertainment love. Do relationships really have to be the main conflict in the story? In The Office, it was all about Jim and Pam. Then the writers figured that they couldn’t drag it out for 6 seasons like How I Met Your Mother. So when Jim and Pam finally got together, it moved to Michael Scott’s quest...
2 tags
Thoughts About Breast Cancer Awareness
Around October, a lot of pink things start to pop up and you’d see it everywhere — in stores, on TV, on the street. And then maybe you’d wonder, what’s going on? What’s with all the pink during fall? And then you’d read somewhere that the pink is to raise awareness for breast cancer, whether it be getting an exam or supporting the research.
Once you’ve figured...
2 tags
Thoughts About Disney
I had no idea that Disney liked to have their characters transform into different things so much.
I mean, Pinocchio turned from a toy, to a boy/toy, to a donkey/boy/toy to a real boy. Wart from The Sword in the Stone is three different animals in his lessons. And Kuzco of Emperor’s New Groove; he was a one-man zoo.
What’s the deal, Disney? It’s apparent they like their...
1 tag
Thoughts About The Princess and the Frog
The only African queen Disney ever had for a while was Nala from The Lion King. Then they came out with The Princess and The Frog with a girl from New Orleans who’d be their first black princess.
It took them a while to finally replace an animal as their unofficial African princess spokesperson with an official human one, but better late than never.
So how does the movie add up for girls...
1 tag
Thought About Outliers
I finally got around to finishing Outliers. I started explaining it to a friend of mine, and we got into a discussion about how the word “outlier” is pronounced.
He pronounced it as out-liar. I said out-lee-er. I still have no idea how to pronounce it so I just avoid the topic of reading.
September 2010
7 posts
1 tag
Thoughts About Elliptical
Have you ever run on a treadmill facing a window and asked yourself, “Why am I not doing this in real life? Why am I choosing to stay indoors and run in place when I can be running outdoors and see what’s around the neighborhood?”
Is it because you live in the flattest city where there are no hills and your machine’s incline level goes to 10, which you’ll probably...
3 tags
Thoughts About TV Sitcoms
The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, Community, Outsourced. America has spoken. Your workplace sucks compared to the scripted television workplace and you wish you were working at Dunder Mifflin instead. They’re so funny!
And even though these shows have the characters who are apathetic, overly ambitious, charming, really cute, slightly stupider than average and crazy, just like your...
1 tag
Thoughts About American Eagle
Anybody who’s heard of American Apparel has an opinion of them. Their t-shirts are plain, they have risqué advertising and hipsters seem to like it a lot.
You might have an opinion on the clothing store, American Eagle, too. They have graphic shirts, a lot of eagle imagery and their advertising’s aimed to college kids.
The big difference, however, is that with a name like American...
3 tags
Thoughts About Netflix
I like books. I don’t think I’m the sort of snob that goes the book was better, but in the case of Harry Potter, The Count of Monte Cristo or even Garfield, I think the book was certainly better.
So after pondering Netflix’s business model, I was thinking how can I do the same thing but with books? Because books are good and netflix is profitable.
And then I remembered the...
7 tags
Thoughts About Casinos
In front of a casino, there is a fountain. In this fountain, are coins. Presumably, coins tossed in by people wishing for good luck.
Let’s take a second and analyze what’s happening here.
SITUATION A
The casino has penny slots. I’m not sure if they accept coins, but I thinking yes, they do because:
It’s not Dave & Busters. You don’t have to exchange real money...
2 tags
1 tag
Thoughts About South Georgia and the South...
South Georgia and South Sandwich islands is the name of an island off the southern tip of South America.
Now imagine, if you’re running the show at South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands, what would you put on your flag. A BLT? Too obvious, right? How about half of their whole fucking zoo?
According to the CIA World Factbook, South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands’ flag...
August 2010
2 posts
Thoughts About The Pick-Up Artist
I accidentally watched this stupid show on VH1 a while back called The Pick-Up Artist. It was a reality tv show that feature a number of socially awkward guys who never get the girl. The host was Mystery, a successful pick-up artist who, on first glimpse, you’d think would be an absolute lie.
That’s not the point. I think the show had a challenge and whichever guy failed to pick up a...
1 tag
Thoughts About Breast Cancer
I bought something that was pink because I thought it’d help support breast cancer research. Turns out, it was just pink and I was just supporting guys being ok with flossing with pink floss.
July 2010
2 posts
2 tags
Thoughts About Our Errata
Errata:
In my review of Out of Captivity, David pointed out to me that I misspelled the country of Colombia. Turns out, there’s a difference between a Colombia and a Columbia. One is sometimes known for its corrupt government. The other is sometimes known to be the corrupt government.
Second, I said Lebron James would go back to Cleveland. Obviously, not. Looks like the world might end in...
4 tags
June 2010
9 posts
3 tags
Thoughts About American Flag
We were taught in school that in the American Flag, the 13 stripes represent the 13 original colonies and the 50 stars represent the 50 states of the union.
But what about the very first flag?
13 stars, 13 strips. 13 for the 13 original colonies and 13 for…the states of the union? A little redundant, Mrs. Ross. You’re lucky we followed through with our Manifest Destiny.
2 tags
Thoughts About Free Agency
Remember how everybody thought Y2K was going to ruin everything and the world would end? Or remember how right after Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Rita came and Houston evacuated for no real reason? Or remember all that talk about 2012 and how the world would (again) but nothing’s probably going to happen maybe?
That’s what the NBA 2010 Free Agent class is going to be. Lebron’s...
4 tags
Thoughts About World Cup Soccer
The thing I like least about World Cup soccer is all the flopping about they do. Seeing these people fall so easily explains why international basketball players who play in the NBA are notorious for flopping. They learned it from their countrymen on the soccer field.
What I like about the World Cup, besides the excitement of rooting for your team and winning, is the sportsmanship. Sure the...
2 tags
Thoughts About Out of Captivity
I like biographies. More specifically, autobiographies and sometimes memoirs. In Out of Captivity, three Americans are held hostage by Columbian guerrillas for more than five years.
Will they make it out alive? Or will the FARC kill them? That is the main conflict for a majority of the book. The Americans, Marc, Keith and Tom, try to survive this ordeal so they can be with their families...
2 tags
Thoughts About ESPN II
What does ESPN stand for? I’ve been trying to figure it out, but none of my guesses made sense so far. ESportes Para Network? That’s Spanish. I don’t even know if that’s correct Spanish.
Extreme Sports Plays Network? I get the S and I get the N, but what on Earth does the E and P stand for?
I mean, CNN is pretty obvious. Cable News Network. AMC, American Movie Classics....
2 tags
Thoughts About Birthdays
Here’s the deal. I think you should only be awarded for accomplishments. On your birthday, you’ve accomplished nothing but the basic human instinct of survival for a year.
And really, every day that you’re alive should already be celebrated. That’s why people should celebrate happy hours and not happy birthdays.
4 tags
Thoughts About ESPN
I like to watch ESPN. Most men do. Most women don’t. Conversely, women like to watch E!. Most men don’t.
So to better bridge this gap, I think ESPN should have a channel dedicated for women and women sports. It doesn’t have to be The Ocho, it can be E!SPN, or something. The channel would have WNBA games, NCAA softball games, Ladies’ Billiards, etc.
But also on top of...
2 tags
Thoughts About Mash Ups
The idea of taking something all right and taking something else that is all right, putting them together to make it better is something that I’m very ok with.
I am talking about music, of course, and not platypuses. Platypuses are living venn diagrams and they weird me out.
The only problem with mashups is if you listen to it enough, whenever you hear the song, you’ll automatically...
3 tags
Thoughts About Lebron James and This Whole Free...
Lebron James can sign with any team for the 2010-2011 season and make an obscene amount of money but he still might not win that championship.
His best bet, I think, is to go back to college and get his degree.
It will set a good example for the kids. All the kids will do that powder thing that Lebron does before each game. Except they’ll be doing it before each midterm.
He can play...
May 2010
6 posts
2 tags
Thoughts About Wal-Mart's Check Out Line
I’m not sure why or how, but Wal-Mart’s check out lines are always long. Does not matter at what hour you go. Noon, it’s long. Midnight, it’s still long. It’s always long. And Wal-Mart’s express check out lane is 20 items or less. 20 items or less. That’s not express. That’s a normal Tuesday Grocery Day. People in line have a shopping cart with cans,...
4 tags
Thoughts About Future II
Back then, they said that nobody would be able to afford a computer, let alone fit one into their house. Today, we have Dell laptops for a few hundred dollars.
The same thing’s going to apply to the Large Hadron Collider 20 years from now. GE’s going to mass produce these machines, sell them at Home Depot, and every American family will have a black hole in their living room by 2022.
...
3 tags
Thoughts About Jay-Z
There’s only one way to drive when you’re the CEO of the ROC
1 tag
Thoughts About Favorite Books
There’s no way to fill out the “Favorite Books” section on Facebook without coming off as an asshole to somebody else.
A well-read person says, “Really? Your favorite book is still Cat in the Hat? Idiot.” And everybody else says “Really? You still read books after high school? Dweeb.”
4 tags
Thoughts About Karma
The universe has a way of balancing itself out. Physically, you have matter and anti-matter. Chemically, you have protons and electrons. Biologically, you have males and females. Ethically, you have Do Gooders and Douche Baggers.
When somebody does something bad, they should be expecting something bad to happen to them. That is karma. Conversely, if someone does something good, they can expect...
3 tags
Thoughts About Book Praising
I recently bought a book titled The Last Man on the Moon. It’s about America’s Space Race or something. I don’t know. I haven’t read it yet. I buy books based on its cover. And title.
Anyway, on the back is advanced praise by several people:
• Neil Armstrong: Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon, so his praise for a book about the last man on the moon is...
April 2010
1 post
2 tags
Thoughts About Theme Parks
I’ve seen a total of three Eiffel Towers in my life. Three. And I’m not counting the Eiffel Tower they have in Paris, Texas that’s wearing a big red cowboy hat. Because at least that’s original. I’m talking about replica of the famous Eiffel Tower in Paris, France.
I’m not sure why some theme parks are bent on having you visit “another country” as...
March 2010
4 posts
2 tags
Thoughts About Animated GIFs
There’s a right way to do an animated gif and a wrong way to do an animated gif.
Exhibit A: http://www.iamnotanartist.org/index.php
Exhibit B: http://gifsofpopularrappers.tumblr.com/
Exhibit A is the right way. Exhibit B is the right way, too. There’s no wrong way today. Everybody’s a winner!
1 tag
Thoughts About The Drunkard's Walk
This book is about randomness, probability and statistics. A book about math but not a math textbook.
And then towards the end, it suddenly turned into a self-help book. Not in the sense that it helped improve my math skills, but rather it started touting persistence and how to improve my character.
Good book, though.
2 tags
Thoughts About NBA Teams
Is it an accident or do NBA teams develop a certain persona?
Take the Denver Nuggets (or as Mark Cuban calls them the Denver Thuggets). Almost all of them have a collage of tattoos covering their body. Do they base their draft picks on tattoo to uninked skin ratio?
Or the Indiana Pacers. A lot of white people on their team. They drafted Tyler Hansbrough.
The Houston Rockets acquire a lot of...
2 tags
Thoughts About LinkedIn
LinkedIn, the professional social networking site, shows how you might know somebody through people you know. Instead of the traditional seven degrees, though, it stops at the third. I suppose because then everybody would know Kevin Bacon.
Anyway, I think there should be decimals in the degrees to avoid confusion. For example, you might know my creative partner through me. That’s 2 degrees....
February 2010
3 posts
3 tags
Thoughts About McDonald's
It’s the second week of the 2010 Winter Olympics and I’ve seen a lot of McDonald’s commercials claiming that eating at McDonald’s is the equivalent of eating like an Olympian.
I’ve been trying to figure out for the past week what Olympian eats at McDonald’s. And then I got my answer after watching the Danish Women’s Curling Team.
2 tags
Thoughts About Present
It’s in my experience that when reflecting upon my past, I often say, “I can’t believe I used to do that. I was so stupid back then.”
Which leads me to believe that in the future, I will probably say the same thing about what I’m doing right now.
Which can only mean that what I’m doing right now is stupid.
1 tag
Thoughts About QuickBrownFoxes.com
I once saw a sign that read “Do not climb the fence.” I would’ve taken it seriously had it not been written in Comic Sans. Ignoring the fact that Comic Sans is the worse font on your computer, it seems like the sign maker didn’t know which type was appropriate for demands.
QuickBrownFoxes.com is here to fix that problem. It’s an illustrated look into how a typeface...